“I am fucking fierce…*grunts*”The movie is an adaptation of a poem written by an unknown Anglo-Saxon writer. Other than that, what is the movie really all about?
Watching Beowulf is like watching Shrek, except that it’s not as colorful, there are no talking donkeys and there’s ANGELINA JOLIE .
The movie is about ANGELINA JOLIE and how she is naked. That’s it. That’s my fucking review. Go watch the movie for ANGELINA JOLIE naked, well, not fully naked, she still has some gold liquid covering her digitally perfect bobos but hell, I ain’t complaining.
What else is the movie about? Hmm, there’s this really fierce guy who fights naked and stuff and….yea pretty much that’s it.
“very cheap…top quality…lowest price I tell you…ni yao?”The above scene shows the dramatic turning point of the movie when the old dude with a rather cute beard haggles with our hero for the price of the yellow spitting cup. Huh? What king? Where? Stop assuming lah folks. Just believe me.
“$5.40? Do I hear $5.50? $5.50 going once…going twice”
When our hero Beowulf grows old, he realized he bought a piece of crap and had been skillfully swindled by the old dude with e cute beard. He therefore tries to auction it off. Most exciting part of the movie I tell you.
“Not funny lor…where are my clothes? Harlow?...Harlow?”
To make matters worse, some really mean dudes stole his clothes. The piece of crap that he was holding reek so much crapness that they didn’t even take that. Feeling incredibly chagrined, he goes out in search of his clothes, bringing along that piece of crap in hopes of bashing the head of the people who stole his clothes.
“Hey big boy, they stole my clothes too…”
Yup. That’s ANGELINA JOLIE’s digitally perfect bum bums. That long tail that you see is her ponytail. If you look closely, she’s even wearing heels. How kinky can a naked ANGELINA JOLIE get?
So it seems that ANGELINA JOLIE’s clothes were stolen as well. Damn. What are the odds? The director’s twist totally caught me off guard.
I couldn’t remember the lines that were said during the scene above because I was busy ejaculating. Pardon me.
So yea that’s what the movie is about. Two totally random folks who got their clothes stolen and through a happenstance of events, they get to meet and have sex. The end.
Here are other random pics:
That was the gold liquid I was telling you folks about.
It doesn’t matter if you have a pimple outbreak, a bad hair day and a hole in the pants. If you’re ANGELINA JOLIE, it doesn’t matter.
Because you know, at the end of the day, you will still end up looking like this:
Amen folks, amen.
2 comments:
I think the movie is bad. You can see angies bare nipps in another one of her movies but her real bobos are tiny.
and bad genes = Greddel while Beo and her had a fricking strong dragon?
How come she wanted the horn or was it a cup so much but some random servant can find it so easily?
and sent her son to fight his father?
Don't know what her point.
but it's like a satire to what the tabloids are speaking of her - the species sprawl.
You're right.
The tabloids are livid with the fact that the simplistic plot line carry nearly no weight at all.
For a much hyped movie, only thing that the marketeers were banking on was the much lusted jolie appearing semi nude.
I fell for it. Sigh.
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