IRC

This post was much well loved. Conjured up during a time when I was bored shitless, what I did was to go into IRC. Two channels in particular, #melayu and #sex. In both channels, i masqueraded as females. Here you go again, an unedited transcript of my adventure. Parenthesis denotes my comments.

Below is an actual chat transcript with my first victim:

<^dope> u ada bf ke ( you have bf?)

<^Linda15> no..me dunch have bf~ (im linda15)

<^Linda15> interested ya?

<^Linda15> heheheh (15 yr olds are known to be gigglish)

<^dope> yes.. hehe

<^dope> u ada brapa ex? (how many ex bfs do you have?)

<^Linda15> i have 23 ex

<^dope> wah siao liao

<^dope> so many ah

<^Linda15> hehehe

<^Linda15> u so funny~ (no he wasn't funny god damn it)

<^Linda15> not dat many lahh

<^dope> my gosh....

At this point, i told him brb (be right back), to which i
proceeded to update my website. Poor dope, he's still waiting for me.

Alright, for my next victim, i decided to become a seductive 19/f/singapore poly student in the #sex.

First of all, when i entered the channel, i was swamped with messages from guys with nicknames ranging from DICK to Abang~. Weird. Here's your next transcript. Again, my nickname is Linda:

.

<^cool>) u honey, honey?

<^Linda> i money money

<^Linda> *grins*

<^cools> u horny, honey?

<^Linda> oo..u kinky kinky ya (i dunno why the hell this guy talks like this)

.

<^Linda>19/f/sp sweets

<^Mark30s> sweets? what do u mean (wtf dude)

<^Linda> hehe..*seductive grin*

<^Mark30s> tell me lah..

.

I had such a ball of a time that a few weeks later, i did it again.

<^V^cOkE> sianz~

<^V^cOkE> u wanna fling?

<^Linda> fling to where? (me playing the, ‘innocent girl’ card)

<^V^cOkE> my place?

<^Linda> I might need a catupult

<^V^cOkE> catupult?

<^V^cOkE> wat is that?

<^V^cOkE> wat is that?

<^V^cOkE> u therE?

<^V^cOkE> u wanna fling naot?

<^V^cOkE> u wanna fling anot?

<^Linda> y dun u build me a...catupult.baby~

<^V^cOkE> wat is catupult?

<^V^cOkE> wat is catupult?

<^V^cOkE> wat is catupult?

<^V^cOkE> wat is catupult?

<^V^cOkE> u wan fling de mah?? (this is just so classic)

<^V^cOkE> u wan fling de mah??

<^V^cOkE> u wan fling de mah??

<^V^cOkE> u wan fling de mah??

.

<^ricks> thining of sleeping nude today

<^ricks> dun u

<^ricks> sometime

<^Linda> do u like ponies? (notice how I skillfully changed the topic)

<^ricks> ponies the animal?

<^Linda> yes..my pink pony

<^Linda> I always buy em

<^ricks> actual pony or?

<^Linda> nono

<^Linda> those.small.ones

<^ricks> toy?

<^Linda> something like it

<^ricks> haha ok

<^Linda> seven eleven got sell

<^ricks> ur collection big? (he seems genuinely interested)

<^Linda> okok only

<^Linda> sometimes my bro buy for me

<^ricks> hmm n wat he gets from u in return (I sense a trap)

<^Linda> potatoes

<^Linda> n.donuts

<^ricks> hehe ok

<^ricks> u into sex chat? (if all else fails, try the direct route)

<^Linda> define sex chat (still holding the ‘innocent girl’ card)

<^ricks> talk about sex exp or fantasy

<^Linda> does ponies count?

<^ricks> not really unless u use them to mas

<^Linda> to malaysia?

<^Linda> cannot pass custom (He stopped messaging me. Wonder why.)

.

-<^Coby> harlows

-<^Coby> harlows

-<^Coby> harlows

<^Linda> bye

<^Linda> bye

<^Linda> bye (well….)

.

<^EniHs> hihi r u horny?? wanna cybersex?

<^Linda> no, sorry im Linda

<^Linda> wrong.person (end of conversation)

.

<^LicpUs> hi

<^Linda> LicpUs?

<^Linda> are u like a pokemon?

<^LicpUs> ?????? (Come on..it sounds like it doesn't it? I choose you LICPUS!)

.

<^Linda> why is ur name Ivian

<^Ivian> cos i am ivian

<^Ivian> hah

<^Linda> I tht u mineral water (I am fucking hilarious, i know.)

.

<^KhoO> hi helo

<^Linda> are u eric khoo?

<^KhoO> nope

<^KhoO> y?

<^Linda> ohh

.

<^suntanguy> hihi ! r u very open-minded & do u fling? i'm 28/m/ch/sg, 180cm , 74kg , tanned ...u?

<^Linda>im.7..i have.hairy.tits..my.own.mum.srubs.my.toes.cause.i.cant.reach.em..n.i.eat.ants

.

Thats it folks.