2058 and a holey mouth

I am feeling highly perturbed.

My removal of the stitches was today, and when I arrived at the National Dental Centre (NDC), I had been already been 20 minutes later than my scheduled appointment timing, which was at 10 am.

So I was late, and I think the receptionist was secretly punishing me when I was issued my call number:

2058.

I didn’t give much thought to it at first because when I glanced up at the board, it was 2054. Im like  “ Hey! Just four more people before my turn! My number rocks!”.

My number didn’t rock. My number was the devil’s number. It was pulled out from the devil’s asshole, with its objective to thoroughly punish me and remind me not to be late, ever. On my slip of paper, as of many waiting slips, had the fine print which said, “ Q Number may not run in sequence.” I think it was printed there to avoid potential lawsuits, because it turned out that ‘may not run in sequence’ also meant ‘we’re just mind fucking you with our numbers because we can’.

2054...never moved. It stayed there. And on other rooms, numbers I never even thought existed, like 1042, 7014, and 6043 all kept flashing. And mine was just 2054, it never budged. I just stared at it thinking, “Whoever is inside 2054, I am cursing your entire family with dental problems.”It did start moving after I had watched my 4^th child graduate from university, and it moved from 2054...to 2055...then 2057....and then 2059. Where the hell did my number go? And then it went to 2056! Oh I honestly thought now they’re just throwing out random numbers. I was seriously expecting 2057.5 or something when my number finally did flash out!

2058.

I was 22 when I arrived. I walked in at 73.

And it finally brings me to the point of what happened after the stitches were removed. When the doctor showed me the insides of my mouth, I flinched. There are now holes inside them.

I am holey. Holy fuck I am highly disturbed by it. Doc said it’s normal and it will close up after around 2 weeks. 2 weeks? 2 bloody weeks, I’m going to be walking around with holes in my mouth. Oh my goodness it is seriously disturbing folks. The most alarming bit was this device:

I am supposed to squirt in water into the holes after I’m done eating so as to flush it out. I’m supposed to wha...? Squirt myself. That’s it. Because i have holes in my mouth. So if any of you folks have a meal with me, do pardon me if I promptly excuse myself after eating ya?

Because I have to squirt in the hole.

And then I started thinking, what could I do with the hole ehy? Im a nice guy folks, so if you have a hole in your mouth like me, here is a list of how you can fully utilize the hole :

• Place spare change in them. “Oh guys I have coins! - inserts index and middle finger into my mouth and skilfully removes the coins-”
• I could put some soil in them and start growing plants.
• My colleague says that I could use it as a washing machine. I said, ‘Well, if my t-shirts are really tiny, why not?’. Left hole will be where I stuff the really tiny tee in and put some detergent in it, and gargle. Right hole will be for drying.
  
• TLML says I could hide peanuts in them.
  
• I can grow sea monkeys! Like two warring factions, on each side of my mouth.
  
• I can squirt chilli into my left hole, and mayonnaise into my right hole, so that when I eat finger food...I can flavour them while in my mouth!
  

 And In case if you guys need a visual example:

 

 

I am feeling highly perturbed.