TLML gave me this link a few weeks back. I’m not too sure what she’s hinting at but I shall look into that later.
Okay the article basically informs us about the interesting sexual behaviours of our friends in the animal kingdom. They really are an interesting read and I couldn’t help injecting my own random thoughts to them.
The Birds and The Bees: Sex in the Animal Kingdom
We humans like to think we invented sex, but we could learn a lot from the animal kingdom. Here are some tips to spice up your love life from creatures great and small...
1. INDIAN COBRAS: The Masters of Make-Up Sex. Indian cobras will strike at each other repeatedly, until the female decides she's had it and signals that she's ready by laying her head on the ground. The male then begins copulation with one or both of his two penises, with "the act" lasting from a few minutes to an entire day.
2. TURTLES: The Four-Foot Fetish. The males of some types of turtles will suck on the feet of the female, perhaps as a type of foreplay. And in some cases to the frisky male will push his luck and take the female's entire head into his mouth.
a. Something new to try out in the bedroom folks. Just give your girlfriend ample warning ait? You don’t go, “Honey, hey come look at this –chomp-“.
3. OCTOPUSES: Can't Get Past Second Base. Pity the poor octopus. The male and female will face each other during mating, but their "naughty bits" will never touch. Instead, the male will ejaculate onto one of his own tentacles and place the sperm in the female.
a. Oh this is sad. This is really sad. It’s like after wanking off, you give the sperm to your girlfriend and say...”nah..sperm..take lor”
4. SEA LIONS: They Like to Watch. The California sea lion is the voyeur of the aquatic world, enthralled by watching their fellow sea lions have sex. In fact, this is often the only gratification a young male sea lion has, as the older males will viciously protect their rights to their "harems." These seasoned pros, therefore, keep busy gettin' busy during the two-month-long mating season, when they must satisfy the needs of their entire female "fan base."
5. GIRAFFES: Master of the Headache Excuse. Feeling spurned by your girlfriend or wife? Then feel sorry for the hapless male giraffe. Often, female giraffes are so disinterested in sex that the female will simply walk away in the middle of "the act," leaving the male to plummet to the ground.
a. Sounds familiar. Hmm.
6. RHINOCEROSES: Sting Has Nothing On Them. Sure, the Police frontman is known for his ability to "go the distance," but the male rhino will often perform sex for hours, sometimes reaching his climax every 10 minutes, ready to go again and again. Call it the reward for some punishing foreplay: the male and female rhinoceroses will charge into each other repeatedly before mating, crashing their 2,000-plus bodies head-on at speeds approaching 35 miles per hour.
a. Oh yea TLML and I do that for foreplay as well...what? You guys don’t?
7. CHIMPANZEES: Those Oversexed, Cheeky Monkeys. Okay, we know they're not technically monkeys. They're actually much more closely related to humans, which may explain why they're considered the primates most fascinated with sex. Chimps are known to indulge in oral sex play, mutual masterbation, and repeated sessions of sex that can number more than 20 times per day.
a. I thought I was kinky. These guys are champions.
8. BEDBUGS: Really Don't Let Them Bite. The male bedbug will bite a hole into the female's back and place his sperm into it. The eggs quickly fertilize in their new home, and the embryos develop within the female's exoskeleton.
a. Bloody hell. Bloody hell.
9. PRAYING MANTISES: Pray Your Partner Is Already Full From Dinner. The female praying mantis, right in the middle of "love-making" will eat the head of the male. But like any sex-crazed guy, he won't let a simple thing like losing his head stop him from finishing his job.
a. This is perfect for those inspirational type posters. You put the picture of a headless mantis humping the female mantis missionary style, with the tag which says...”Perseverance”...
10. TAPEWORMS: Who Needs a Partner? A single tapeworm can have over 10,000 sets of male and female sexual organs, the most of any creature. Each set mates with itself to create eggs. The longest tapeworm on record was over 230 feet in length.
a. It’s like having a penis and a vagina at the same time. Where’s the fun in that. Then again, it puts a literal meaning to the term, “Go fuck yourself!”.
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